Built originally for future use as an arcade for strange shops, this incredible structure first came into use in 1889.
In that year, during the invasion of The New Zealand Company, the country became host to nearly 5000 British ne'erdo-wells, “relocated” by their rich families in England. The most infamous was a group from a shipment from the upper societal echelons of Manchester in England. This city would later become universally famed for producing notorious criminals such as the band Oasis, and all the characters from Coronation Street .
A troublesome bunch, nicknamed Put Out of Manchester (POMS) this group were the most loathed of all criminal immigrants. It was following a suggestion from Old Jakey, a homeless man in Aotea Square that we “round up the whole bloody lot of them and throw them off that pier thing”, that the authorities finally relented and rounded up the whole bloody lot of them, and threw them off that pier.
Most of them drowned, although several beat each other to death in the water arguing over who had the best haircut. Those who survived swam on to discover Australia, just over there and round the corner a bit. The result of that is well documented.
Today Devonport Pier plays host to eighteen random little shops that no-one ever buys anything from. Such is the charm of the pier, people lose themselves inside the quaint architecture and old ladies' nattering and forget that some people here are trying to run a bloody shop.
And stop staring in. If you're going to stare, then bloody come in and buy something. Bloody tourists.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Architectural Wonders of New Zealand - the Sky Tower
This enormous erection penetrates the sky at a whopping 4 million feet, making it the world's tallest structure.
The tower was designed and built in 1992, at a time when New Zealand laboured under the black cloud that was the impending threat of drugs. Mr Asia, otherwise known as the actor Russell Crowe, had only just begun his rise to power and the country knew worse was to come.
In February of that year, The minister for Tourism and Paranoia, Rt hon. Michael Kent, announced to an astounded Parliament that since New Zealand is bound to become the drug capital of the world, we should build a monument that looks like a big reefer. That way when the rest of the world see footage of us, they'll get a true idea of just how stoned we all are. However, after much debate in the house and using the knowledge of Nandos Tacos, they considered a big syringe more appropriate.
Ironically, the country's drug threat was anhialated with the arrest and deportation of Mr Asia. Mr Asia went on to Australia, where he is now known as Mr New Zealand, and now has a successful acting career both there and in the states where he is known as Mr Violent Nutter from Australia.
The tower was designed and built in 1992, at a time when New Zealand laboured under the black cloud that was the impending threat of drugs. Mr Asia, otherwise known as the actor Russell Crowe, had only just begun his rise to power and the country knew worse was to come.
In February of that year, The minister for Tourism and Paranoia, Rt hon. Michael Kent, announced to an astounded Parliament that since New Zealand is bound to become the drug capital of the world, we should build a monument that looks like a big reefer. That way when the rest of the world see footage of us, they'll get a true idea of just how stoned we all are. However, after much debate in the house and using the knowledge of Nandos Tacos, they considered a big syringe more appropriate.
Ironically, the country's drug threat was anhialated with the arrest and deportation of Mr Asia. Mr Asia went on to Australia, where he is now known as Mr New Zealand, and now has a successful acting career both there and in the states where he is known as Mr Violent Nutter from Australia.
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